Couples come to therapy when they have lost the sense of safety with each other, when vulnerability and connection are no longer possible.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy first looks to discover the negative cycle that compels the couple into repetitive, defensive, and self-sabotaging positions.
As an EFT therapist, I look to actively engage and work to create the conditions that allow expression of those vulnerable emotions underlying the anger and withdrawal that often define a highly distressed couple. I don’t allow a couple to simply fight in front of me; it’s a waste of your time and money.
The ultimate goal of EFT is to create safety, allow vulnerability, deepen the connection, and turn towards rather than away from each other.
From my perspective, EFT addresses the root of a couple’s distress, not just the symptoms.